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Looking after ourselves

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 i think I'm as stable as can be... it's just a case of 'getting on with life ' now... it's not without difficulties and challenges... but yea gotta put myself first... focus on me... do what i want to... (within reason)

I'll probably always be at risk of relapsing... but hopefully the medication will reduce the severity of each relapse...

I've got my car and all the responsibilities and costs that come with... I've got my animals which need feeding, vet care, love and attention... i got my hygiene, self care and social life to maintain... housework, cleaning, cooking and yard maintenance...

I'd like some gym equipment/weights... so i can do some exercise and get fit/in shape... I've noticed even 5-10 minutes exercise lifts my mood for a few days... as soon as I'm exerting myself... the endorphins start flowing but because the depot is released through my arm muscle(s) exercise does effects how quickly it releases (I believe)

I'd like to get a gaming console... a turtle tank... and a webber bbq... a boat... some stuff for the car is towbal, bullbar, roofracks... but yea all just visions which involve $$$...

I don't really like reaching out for help as it's not the best sign... i don't like being weak, vulnerable and prone to minor relapses induce by triggers... i don't like being mentally ill full stop... i don't like all the bad traits and characteristics about myself... examples negative thinking styles... lack of self control... no discipline, structure, routine and initiative... ie smoking and coffee... but it's basically all apart of the gig...

Re: Living with Ourselves

Its ok @Sophia1 im a very sensitive person too and have both misunderstood things and understood things to well as well. I guess its part of normal like in a way though and its harder to interpret things online compared to offline where we can recognise tone, expressions etc.

I can tell by your determinationation and knowledge that you have been a person who asks many questions or seeks clarification if you need to. I am actually one of those shyer people who hide away hoping other people can read my mind and ask the questions for me, except for here... so I thank you and those who are brave enough to ask questions.
Part of that I believe is also that im always put down esp when I talk so ive learnt to shut my mouth sort of thing or been to scared to ask questions. Im getting better at it though more so at health appointments because im on my own and I know what I say is confidential (within those limits of course)

I had joined a young persons group previously but it was cancelled due to not enough numbers. It might sound strange but even though I want to be around people my own age I find it so awkward and uncomfortable that it is hard to be around young people (or people in general) I think mostly because of my upbringing and it not being quite as normal as what others may have had it so its hard to relate at all.

Ah yes ive finished 2 blankets now, my rainbow one and another one my my aunt for her grandson. They both worked out quite well. The rainbow one is on the craft thread, perhaps a little while back now but can uplaod another pic if your interested. I can share the other one though as its been all over social media and seen by to many people etc.
I havent done much art lately but ive found mums good camera so I can start doing abit of photography. I do that more at horse events and the likes, it gives me something to do as well.


Enough about me though, How are you holding up the past few days?

Heart Heart

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1update... had a pyschology session yesterday and had psychiatry session today... the theme I'm picking up on-is 'you could be doing more' based on their and the systems agenda... example... volunteering my time... part/full time work... sleeping better... eating better... exercising... and being more active... i said 'it sounds like unrealistic expectations and you shouldn't be disappointed with myself...'

I also said... 'i understand/hear what you're saying and why you're saying it... but what you've got to understand is-that I've been through it all before and it hasn't worked...' 'It's about realistic expectations... and about what I'm imagining and not what you're imagining...'

 

It's hard to put my trust and faith in people when essentially they've not walked a single day in my shoes... and essentially they're only available by appointment after a lengthy wait... plus they do to me what they do to everyone else... plus are paid and then clock off and become totally different people...

I sensed there was disappointment toward myself from their behalf for not striving to meet their expectations... (not performing like a dancing bear basically...)

 

But yea i gotta realize they're trying to help me do well and be healthy...

And i said... 'I understand what you're getting at... but what i need you to know is-i am doing everything you're suggesting... just in my own way... and in my own time... based around my own realistic expectations of myself...' 'what it looks like for you... and what it looks like for me... are probably completely differnt visions...' however, I'm trying to take everything on board and make my own interpretation of it and then manifest it-into reality...

The initial problems i presented them with... -was underlying illness/symptoms/thinking styles... medication side effect issues... and comorbidity problems... which was very quickly unacknowledged and discredited... and basically the responsibility and accountability for these matters was passed back onto myself...'

 

I also talked about my instinctive drive and motivation to provide myself with my basic external needs... which i feel the illness, side effects and comorbidity prevents me from doing... independently without and assistence... because without these I'll probably forever feel and act like I'm never quite complete, satisfied, at peace, mentally well or contented and truly able to self actualize... which will result in desperate attempts to achieve these basic needs by performing and creating internally basically... because I'm externally lacking...it don't seem fair????????????????????

 

 

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 Tzofia writing is my best defense against alot of my issues... I've come down with a upper viral sinus infection and it's drippped into my lungs and developed into a chesty cough... it's either because of the change in weather/seasons or because of a take as needed pill i took... (side effect from one tablet basically) either way it should clear up in a week or two... hopefully...

The pyschdoc opinon was that i could be doing more... more in the form of volunteering or part time work... i thought dam... I'm kind of doing to much already...
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Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 i think the notifications are playing up. They acting all pyscho and stuff.

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Moderator I'm getting notifications saying @Sophia1 mentioned me in a comment on my phone home screen/email notifications... but when i check sane there's nothing... can you check if there is a problems with notifications on the sane website? Thanks 

Re: Living with Ourselves

I will pass this information on to the community managers.

Re: Living with Ourselves

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hi Eudemonism, 

 

Is this issue still happening? If so, can you post a new thread about it here and detail what exactly is occuring and on what devices - this way we can provide more detail to our IT team to look into. From time to time there can be a lag with notifications though unfortunately, so I am hoping this issue may have rectified itself though? 😊

Re: Living with Ourselves

Dear @Sophia1 

Just Hello.

Thinking of you and hoping you are alright. You dont have to tag me. I guess you are limiting your time on forum, but I valued your thoughtful posts and missed them.

Heart

And also seeing Eude here chatting to you in his thoughtful and humourous way.  Your not a dancing bear huh!  DOnt be too hard on yourself @eudemonism  Balancing self awareness and self acceptance without harsh judgement as we know more of our own mistakes better than anyone.

Take Care both of you.

Heart

I am alright. Still caring for my son. Still in the good fight.

HeartSmiley Happy

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