28-11-2017 08:40 PM - edited 28-11-2017 08:41 PM
Hmmm. Where to start? I’m not sure starting with a metaphor that brings mixed emotions is perhaps the best way to title a new thread, but just now it feels apt.
@NikNik has put up her picture of recovery up in the past. At first I hated it because I wanted that nice straight linear line (expectations) ......the one where the magic wand comes included 😯😝
So now that I’m finally accepting the reality that the road to recovery doesn’t exist on google maps (and there isnt a magic wand), I'm left with having to make it up as I go along.........and if there was one there wouldn’t be a measurement of how long the road was 😏
Please feel free to join in and tell your stories too of the good, the bad and the ugly of recovery.
28-11-2017 08:53 PM
@Teej it is a never ending journey of self discovery ... now that I have my medication I can see the horizon so I am hoping maybe sometime in the near future I will be back to normal again. Whatever normal is ... I have seen sides of myself which I have never seen before ... reminds me of a lecturer that told us that all our cells are completely renewed over a 15 year span (?). Meaning I am nearly half way through being a completely new person since I became psychotic and was hospitalized.
This sense of renewal is invigorating. I am hoping that doors will starting opening in my mind if not in real life and that I will once again be truly at peace.
28-11-2017 08:58 PM - edited 28-11-2017 09:12 PM
I’ve been so unsure what to post and where in the forums again. This year has been the hardest year for me. I have struggled with so many things. One of them is finding where and how to interact on the forum again. I really didn’t want to start this thread as a new 'home' page but have missed somewhere to write random things about my experiences.
The past few months have been pretty intense as I’ve tried to throw myself into recovery and have been extremely grateful for my current mental health support. Although I’ve been on the road to recovery for the past 6 years, Ive only seen glimpses of light in the last few months.
Right now, my focus has been very much trying to live in the moment and practice being more present......with mixed results. I am about to have my last session of DBT and that has been another difficult road for me, randomly making steps forward and backwards with it and lots of extreme emotions. I counted today and this year I have had 7 trips to the ED department of the local hospital which have included 5 admissions to the mental health short stay unit. Mostly I have had lots of shame about these, but I now see them as helpful and some of the swirls and twists and turns in my road to recovery.
Just on reflection, I think that the most important reason for me to be able to say I’m even on this road is having a stable and helpful mental health team that I now trust. It’s been 6 years in the making and lots of mess along the way.
28-11-2017 09:06 PM
Thanks for joining in @greenpea. It’s really nice to read that you have an optimistic view of life ahead. I loved your relationship with renewal too. Just lately I’ve had glimpses of old me and a possible new me too. But for me currently it’s very much one day ata a time. Only a few hours ago I tripped up, fell flat on my face (metaphorically), then emotion slept and woke up feeling more in control and making sense of my fall. It was nice to be able to piece this together.
Im hoping to read more of your 'renewal' too. I like that way of describing it 💜😊
29-11-2017 05:10 PM
29-11-2017 05:12 PM
Thanks @Former-Member. Just saw you posting and responded. Great minds think alike 💜😘
30-11-2017 06:51 AM
Thanks for this thread @Teej I'm on the road with you. NikNik's picture made me smile. I just read a blogpost which made me consider what well would look like for me and I guess it's different for everyone. It's such a day by day, sometimes hour by hour proposition for me. Wishing you well.
30-11-2017 06:09 PM
Thanks for joining the conversation @frog 😊. I read the article you posted and although I can’t relate to the bipolar part I have been becoming more aware of what it takes for me to move forward. Healthy eating and good sleep is essential for me.......and being compliant with my medications. Your post made me think that I don’t actually have a picture in my head of well would look like or feel like. I’m not sure I ever picture that part in my future. I’ve been working pretty hard lately as not catastrophising and worrying about my future but not about what the best case scenario would be. 😊💜
Today as a recovery day has been mostly swings and roundabouts. I had my last session of DBT so there has been lots of reflection too. I realised that I’d learned more than I thought. I didn’t think I’d ever say this but I wish it was longer but some of it was finally sinking in and going to group helps cement that stuff.
I think though that without realising it I also had a moment where I realised that 12 months ago I was petrified of teaching my son to drive. I’d had my head in the sand about it until June this year. Although it’s a really stressful thing to go through, today I got the satisfaction of him passing his driving test and now has his Ps. I overcame that fear for him and today was rewarding to see that achievement.
Just wondering if anyone has any comments they’d like to post about a success, a loss or just plodding along with life.
Todays recovery for me has looked a lot like this 😴😴😴😶🤔🤔🤨🤔🤨🙂😊🤪😜🤗🤗😢😐🙄🙄🙄🙄😴😴😳🙂🤔
30-11-2017 06:29 PM
Congratulations on finishing your DBT course Teej! That's a great achievement!!
A success hmmm.. well, I am pretty proud of making it through my first year as a parent. I now have a walking, talking (well trying to talk) 1 year old and that feels like a success
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