25-05-2019 12:34 PM
26-05-2019 04:25 AM
27-05-2019 10:12 AM
Feeling weird and numb. I think my medication is working well at the moment, it seems to go thru phases of working and then not working very well. I think I'm partly feeling better because I've avoided stressors, namely stressful people. I feel like I am trapped and there is no way out of my current unemployment situation, I can't get any experience because I keep missing out on job offers because I don't have any experience. It's a catch 22. I don't see any way to change it. I'm stuck at a vile volunteer position with a vile, toxic colleague who I'm confident is a sociopath and I'm confident his emotional abuse has been a major source of stress that has made me very mentally unwell for the last month.
And I can't stand to see my abusive mother again, I've been seeing her once a month to protect my nephew from her and it's felt like an unrelenting wave of stress. Even tho it's not very frequent it's felt frequent, like I don't have time to recover from one interaction before the next one is already here. I declined to see her this week and am fearful of what vengeance she'll take on me for that as she's very vengeful and vindictive. I'm sure that being exposed to her emotional abuse has also made me very mentally unwell for the last month. I feel bad & a bit guilty for not seeing her now but she really has to look after herself & I can't keep putting myself on the line. I'm trying to get employed which is a very difficult thing.
27-05-2019 04:14 PM
Oh no a true friend is leaving the forum and I am so sad. I don't want her to go. She makes me laugh, she is so much fun to be around and so caring. Maybe I haven't given enough back and made her feel she should stay. Everyone loves her. She knows I hope the hole she will leave will not be able to be filled. stay don't go.
31-05-2019 10:11 PM
I need to clone me so i can be in several places at once. Im getting abit sick of being made to look like the bad person always covering for others. There is only one of me
My mother gives me the shites, makes me look like the one to blame for things. And i wonder why others dont get along with me or im socially awkward or anxious. Somsort of act constantly. Sometimes i feel like being totally truthfull to some people so they can see the real reasons behind the lack of attendence in things or lack of help.i cant do it all on my own like everyone seems to think. I cannot keep taking the blame but id hate to see others suffer because of all this stuff . Caught in the middle of it all. Annoyed. Frustrated. Upset. All in one.
10-06-2019 10:04 PM
I feel awful in saying this but 3 days break just isn't enough. It wasnt really a break with having to do so much other stuff. Being around pop is just so damn draining. Dementia is a cruel disease. Not only is it hard and frustrating for the person experiencing its the same for those around them. He has been home for only a few hrs and already im getting exhausted. I feel rather selfish because i changed his drs from tomorrow to Wednesday. I know it is important but i just cannot make it tomorrow. Ive tried juggling everything to make it work and i just cant. I really need to clone me. It seems someone always needs something and i cant provide everyonr with everything every second of the day. 😢😢😢
11-06-2019 02:20 AM
A friend hasn't been online for weeks now. The pea is worried .... I know there has been trouble but she is a friend .... I feel like I am screaming into the darkness come back ....
12-06-2019 03:34 AM
1. No thread where I wouldn't feel like I was interrupting or had to try to support other people with things I can't actually help with or imposing by creating a new thread or reviving an ancient thread of mine from the past, so there's nowhere else for me to post this but in here, where although I'd like a response I shouldn't need one (because my brain says that's weak and pathetic) and will actively not ask for one (which then hurts, but that hurt is evidence of my weak and pathetic nature).
2. Had a tough psych session and didn't even talk about how I was thinking of quitting or taking a break (because again my brain says I'm being weak and pathetic and no amount of hearing that seeking help = strong has ever been able to change my view on that when my brain really gets stuck into it). Not sleeping due to feelings and thoughts and night road work noises. Feeling bad, afraid, useless. Not sure if it's OK to call in sick for work tomorrow/today. I wish I wasn't breathing but I know how to handle those thoughts safely, it's just exhausting and hurts a lot and I can't ask for help and even if I could ask there's nothing that anyone can help with.
12-06-2019 03:30 PM
@TheVorticon My support button isn't working. Big support.
13-06-2019 03:52 AM - edited 13-06-2019 03:58 AM
Im tired of dealing with my problems ... the inability to get a good night's sleep... the daily battle with my addictions ... the constant feeling of despair and feeling like i just want someone , to effectively care. .. 😖 + kind of always seeking validation, and financial stressors from week to week and a whole heap of other things that set my issues off ... 😥
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