07-02-2019 12:25 PM - edited 07-02-2019 02:15 PM
I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.
I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.
Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).
He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.
It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.
So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.
He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.
He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.
So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.
I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.
This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.
That's a side issue for now.
Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.
My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.
THanks forumites. See you a bit later today
Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them
07-02-2019 12:33 PM
Good to hear @Hamsolo01 yes agree with psychiatrist re chaotic plans and whats the rush etc . Take it easy mate
07-02-2019 12:58 PM
Hi @Hamsolo01 and thanks for the tag to your new thread. A new start aye? Good for you ... I'm confident its in you.
The psychiatrist apt sounds like it was very constructive and you appear to have resolved some of the more pressing matters which were causing you such angst. Well done.
07-02-2019 01:13 PM
Well done @Hamsolo01 . The other day I had a bit of a read but had missed some of your stuff. It is good to read this post, for me personally too. I am in a kind of in the same (very kind of) predicament as you but a few decades on 😳🤦♀️. I think that every part of this, dare I say it 'journey', sometimes prepares for the next bit. What you do next will only add to your goals of overseas travel. Wishing you the best of luck. 💜🤗
07-02-2019 02:03 PM
yes re pic @Hamsolo01 and if swapped names of a few hurdles in some ways similiar situation with me telling self have to leave town, then a, b, c and that wont work and why .. been chasing my tail here. Having day off that. Yeah, Tabs Day Off .. the movie lol
07-02-2019 03:27 PM
Well done @Hamsolo01 , you sound so different, great that you're feeling better & things look clearer after just one appointment
Your psychiatrist sounds awesome! and very sensible, bringing your best interests to the fore
Wishing you all the best with your fresh start.
Congrats on helping your student, something to be proud of.
Hope tomorrow's appointment goes swimmingly and good luck with your dad
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