12-02-2019 09:28 AM
I think I have sorted out as much as I can for today, for now, so I am going to take D2 out for coffee (she drinks tea) and just chill for a while. I need a “time out”. This last hour has completely zapped my energy.
Mr. is off to The Coffee Place for the next couple of hours at least, so that gives D3 some space from him. He is placated as far as S2 goes for now, and taking D2 out with mean, aside from giving her much-needed personal attention, creates a shield against mr.’s implied accusation that I am neglecting her .....
Sigh ..... 😔
Rollercoaster down ......
12-02-2019 11:53 AM
Enjoy your cuppa together @Faith-and-Hope . Hope it really helps.
12-02-2019 12:06 PM
Thanks @Smc 💕
broken nail repaired ✅
getting lunches organised ✅
12-02-2019 02:39 PM
Was it an extra strong coffee @Faith-and-Hope ??? Been sitting quietly in the background keeping up with your clan's post holiday blues.
Sending gentle thoughts your way.
12-02-2019 03:07 PM
Thanks @Darcy 💕
It wasn’t any stronger than usual, but maybe it needed a slog if something in it ..... sitting here after a late lunch thinking I might need another one.
D3 has shut down today. She got up to make some breakfast, took it back to her room to eat, and has put herself to sleep for the rest of the day, it seems.
Having ticked the boxes to get his uni start-up happening, S2 has done the same .... also sleeping in a darkened room.
Still ..... although not ideal, both are off the starter’s block and I hope they can keep themselves afloat enough to begin passing things and rebuilding their self-confidence.
Mr. is off west shortly. His pick up is in 10 mins, and he has just walked through the door from a jog ..... at an unusual time of day. (??) Said he won’t go jogging tonight over there, so went now in lieu of.
To be perfectly honest, I feel like going back to bed the minute he walks out the door.
We have eight different versions of muesli in the cupboard now, as he is trying to replace one that S2 liked which has gone out of production ..... but instead of trying one new one at a time, he is buying every different one he can find, all at once .... 😳😬. And economy sized everything ..... so when something goes out of date because there is too much food to get through, large amounts are going into the bin 😥. I opened a huge packet of walnuts this morning that was bought just before we went away for the two months, and they taste stale ..... so I would have used them up in cooking, but I am not baking at the moment, and it would take forever to use all these up in carrot cake or something even if I were ..... and if I blink, another huge packet is likely to walk through the door ...... and no room in the freezer for them. That is all full too ......
Mini background rollercoasters going every which way 🙁
12-02-2019 03:26 PM
Yikes @Faith-and-Hope are the goods in the freezer useful?
12-02-2019 03:45 PM
Because the house is constantly flooded with fresh food, the freezer goods tend to stay there until they too are out of date and get thrown away. If I try to use them up, then fresh food is being thrown away instead. And when he goes west for the two days a week he buys extra to leave here “for the kids” as though they will starve while he is away ..... which actually prevents me from buying much, but that is feeding the view that he is presenting of me to extended family and the doctor who used to be our family doctor (who mr. still sees when he goes west), that I am not managing the house, nor buying for the kids, so if he doesn’t do it, they are not being looked after .....
But he started the excess buying first, and for a period of time we were both buying - me in smaller quantities - but it just became ridiculous.
He did the same in terms of management of the house, taking over the use of the washing machine, and trashing my household systems so I was in constant damage control, while he set up his own systems and pronounced them “the way we have been doing things”, which painted me as oppositional to the household function.
I can’t see any way beyond just surviving under these circumstances, which is doable if I can put up with the sense of humiliation that comes along with it, knowing that my support people and the kids understand the truth of what we are living with, and keep holding out for Diagnosis Day ..... which had better also be Intervention Day !!!
12-02-2019 03:51 PM
I looked it up, and walnuts can be refreshed with gentle heating in a pan, so I might make Waldorf Salad for myself across the next few weeks (kids won’t eat it) and try to use up this one packet as my contribution towards stemming the flow towards the rubbish bin. I also need to start giving food away to whomever I can. The pantry cupboard is unmanageable,
12-02-2019 04:21 PM
Hearing you @Faith-and-Hope (I have a brother who has some similar traits to WH).
12-02-2019 10:08 PM
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