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Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi  everyone

 

 I came on about 3 years ago when I was struggling with a husband who had suffered depression for a very long time.  Fast forward 3 years and we are now divorced, which has been a very hard and painful road.  

I have also started dating someone new, but after a couple of months, found out new partner has BiPolar.  Struggling a lot now as new partner is a bit unwell due to some major life stresses - I am not coping with the criticism, anger and aggression which sometimes manifests in attacking my character and personality - and in repeated suggestion that I need "fixing" in a number of areas.  Don't know if I can do it, am worn down and emotionally exhausted.  Have 2 kids to look after too and a demanding job.  Love new partner but just don't know if I have the capacity.

 

Random things:

I would love to visit Italy one day

I love light, air and sunshine

I love reading detective novels

 

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hello @MrsWho

Maybe try distancing a little, spending less time with him, and stating once that the criticisms effect you.  If he cant adjust, you will know .... dont accept abuse for the sake of being in a relationship.

Re: Introduce yourself here

Welcome back to the forums @MrsWho ...... 👋

 

This is just a suggestion -

 

Maybe consider ways to create space for yourself within the relationship (easier if you live in your own home, but only respond to that comment if it’s comfortable to) ....  so you can spend time in his company when he is behaving decently, but when he is not, be able to say something along the lines of, “I am not comfortable with the mood you are in, or the way you are speaking to me today, so I am going to leave you to your own company for a while ....” firmly but calmly, and politely enough, and then leave if you have somewhere else to go ....  or go out for a while with the kids, or on your own.

 

I have had to stand up to emotional abuse in several people close to home, and this is one strategy I use.  It lets them know you have boundaries.

Re: Introduce yourself here

@MrsWho

I have been noticing that I have been removing myself from situations lately, letting people know that I will not put up with that behaviour. I'm not great with words and explaining myself, so I remove myself if possible....I'm almost 57, it has taken a long time to learn,lol.

I too have a new partner, well we've been together 10 years, (my husband passed away 14 years ago, drug and alcohol issues, father of my 3 wonderful children.) I'm much better at drawing the "line in the sand" with my new partner.

My youngest son has schizophrenia, and has been doing really well lately, which has made my life SO much easier and happier. I'm so proud of him.

All I can add is, always remember YOU, you are number 1.

All the best, Libra xo

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi All!

Thought I would introduce myself here, I’m new to sane.org and I’m really glad I randomly came across this website late one night - It’s proven to be very helpful in my situation!

 

I am 28 year old female in a relationship with 30 year old partner with depression and alcoholism. Has been a roller coaster ride but I love this man and want to keep the relationship alive as long as I can while also dealing with my own issues including relationship OCD (didn’t know that actually existed till I started dating my partner) and abandonment phobia. 

 

Random facts about me include;

1. My dream pet is a French Bulldog 

2. I’m a true crime fanatic 

3. My number 1 travel destination would be Iceland

 

I’m really looking forward to being on this forum and gaining additional information on how to help and care for my partner and myself!

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi, 

My wife and I have just recently had big fight, I asked her if we were good for each other, she has medical health issues which have taken an emotional toll on her as one would expect and I have battled with depression and anxiety for too many years. I got to a point of doubting our relationship, not the love we have but the stresses of living and dealing with each others issues. I struggle with this myself but you really do need to think of whats best for you to continue and enjoy a happy life. Everyone deserves happiness and joy in life.

 

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi @Curveball,

I can relate to your story. I met a man when I was only 16, he was 24. We ended up marrying and had 3 wonderful children.

It was never easy though, he had a lot of issues too (and young niave me thought I could fix them all, lol). He had alcohol and drug issues and was unfaithful many times (just the ones I knew about). But I always thought that I should bear all that, that I would learn from it, and things would get better, I had the kids to think of anyway, and besides all of that, we had a good life, nice home, and he was my best mate. He was attractive, very funny, good father, kept the house and gardens in great nick....

But after 21 years of marriage, he was getting into amphetamines and things went downhill very quickly. Anyways, long story short, we seperated and one year later he passed away, liver failure, which was the saddest thing for my children and myself. Everyone loved him, he was the life of the party...but he he had underlying issues from childhood and he buried them in alcohol and drugs.

I have no regrets, as I knew it wouldn't be easy when we married. I just got to a point when I just had to leave so I could live MY life.

Iam on this forum now because my youngest son was diagnosed with scizophrenia last year...he had a bad time when his dad died (he was 15) and got into drugs and alcohol too.

Hope this helps a little, cheers Libra. xo

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi 

 

I have sought out the Forum today as I am the mother of a 40 year old son with schizophrenia.

He was diagonised at 22 so been dealing with his illness for a long time.

 

Wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn't.

 

My main concern is my son's inability to look after himself properly.

He lives alone in a flat ,is very isolated,doesn't eat well or take care of his physical health.

Nothing new I know but it is so depressing to be around and I feel confused in how I can help without trying to take over his life.

More than an into of me I guess

Moved:

22 yo son suffering for 6 years.

This comment has been moved by a moderator to another part of the forum where it might be more easily found by the community.

Highlighted

Introducing myself

Hi, I am mother to 4. 

I had a difficult childhood growing up, with acrimonious divorced parents. I went through my own long unhappy marriage and it ended in a long drawn out acrimonious divorce. I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. All four of the children have been affected, one not managing well at all. 

I have a cheery happy disposition always trying to see the positive in any situation and finding ways to be resilient. 

I love creating beautiful garden environments (creative and therapuetic release).

I am learning how to fit enjoyment into my life to balance with the heavy responsibilities and stresses; it is a journey. I am looking forward to walks, bike riding, art, good food and spending time with my favourite people.

 

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