11-09-2019 06:28 AM
I broke up with my gf on the weekend. I feel quite sad about it bc I do really love her. But I have to get ready for work now.
I have bipolar disorder II and I just started to feel the pressure of everyday life - work and relationships - was a bit more than i could easily handle. My gf and I were having a few issues, mostly to do with intimacy. She didn’t think it was a massive issue and assumed we’d be able to sort it out bc we love each other. But to me it felt so hard and stressful. I started feeling like I was going to act out just to get rid of that stressful feeling (i used to drink heavily when i felt that way, but i don’t drink anymore).
Anyway, I kept myself sober and didn’t do anything bad but decided to break up bc it felt like too much pressure to maintain a relationship. I have to earn money or I don’t know what would happen to me. So I guess I chose holding on to my job over my gf. In the long run it might be better for my mental health and I’m finally taking it more seriously now. But right now I just feel sad and i miss her. Thanks for listening everyone.
11-09-2019 01:45 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup with your girlfriend. It sounds like a very hard decision for you to make. It's good to hear that you aren't drinking anymore. It's certainly going to help your mental health in the immediate and long term.
I have bipolar 2, I was diagnosed last year after a breakdown and manic episode. It's taken me a while to adjust and come to terms with it. I'm in mid 40's so it came as a bit of a shock.
Anyway, I think in time it will get easier for you in regard to your girlfriend. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first and deal with one thing at a time.
11-09-2019 07:11 PM
Thanks for sharing and for your kind and thoughtful words, they were very welcome.
I can imagine it would have been a shock to get that diagnosis after so long! I'm sorry to hear you had a breakdown. With hindsight, do you think that was the first time you had ever had a manic episode? You don't have to answer that, of course, if you don't want to, I'm just interested in your experience of BD II which is probably different to mine.
I think I had my first breakdown when I was in my late teens ...not that it's a competition...it still took me ages to seek help and get a diagnosis. I kinda think of breakdowns as leading to breakthroughs, but it's a difficult road for sure, and I'm glad you're on here and hope you're getting the support you need.
Going by your username I guess I'm about a year younger than you. I was diagnosed when I was about 32. It doesn't seem that long ago but it's eleven years! Once I was put on meds and got the dosages right, I didn't really want to know anything else about it for a long time. Others issues, like social anxiety, began to resolve at the same time and life just felt 100% better than it had. And I have been a lot better than I was, but still having 'manageable' mood swings. I thought I might have to put up with that for the rest of my life but I met a new therapist who gave me some hope that I could do things differently and get different results.
I was meant to talk to my gf tomorrow, but it might be too soon. Ex gf. I can still hardly believe it. We may go to a relationship counsellor. Maybe. But there's plenty of time to think about that.
Hope you're doing well
11-09-2019 07:28 PM
Thanks for your reply. It was my first breakdown and manic episode . Will give more details tomorrow. Just on the mobile now and hard for me to type.
I'm not sure I was properly diagnosed. I definitely needed help at the time. I spent 2 or 3 weeks in a mental health unit. I was admitted involtariily and found it quite difficult.
It might be worth seeing a counselor if you are both willing and want to try working through it.
11-09-2019 09:04 PM
12-09-2019 09:25 AM
Yes, the hospital stay was quite challenging.. I needed it, but, I wasn't prepared when I went in so it made it more diffucult for Me.
Have a good day
15-09-2019 07:30 AM
Hope you’re doing well. I don’t really know what the right thing to do in forums is with continuing or finishing personal conversations. So just wanted to say hi, I’m listening.
I’ve been enjoying my space since breaking up with my gf. We talked and I gave her the crochet thing I was making her. We still care about each other but I’m just realising how much time i need to myself to feel whole. and it’s nice to have time to find out what i like doing.
17-09-2019 08:52 AM
Howdy @Lyra_reachout ,
Thanks for the update, glad things have been travelling along nicely for you
Have a good day.
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