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How to handle when his parents are publically denying he has a problem?

Hey guys,

 

Sorry I haven't been on for a while.    


Well I live in a small community where everyone knows everyone and their business.   I saw Brian last week,  he seemed fine, we went out for dinner.   I thought if I stay over for two nights things be cool.    When he came back from work,  I had just finished doing some chores.     I admit it was only two chores,   He saw what I done, started to do dramatic sighs, huffs and he muttered under his breath that I should not be washing the dirty dishes next to the clean dry dishes.   

 

Than he added "Why did you bother coming back to our marital home Dewdrop,  you expect praise for doing one chore."  He left the house angry.  


I grabbed my handbang and returned to my parents place.  I don't want praise doing chores.  I want to show him that I'm willing to help around the house.  

 

This afternoon I ran into a mutual friend who told me they have seen Brian around and Brian looks pretty bad.   Then the friend added "His parents must think they are fooling people because they said Brian is fine,  nothing wrong with him and it all was you who caused him to go off."    

 

Now this isn't the first time they have blamed me for his psychosis in public but people know us and know what is really happening.   

 

I don't understand why they are not trying to seek help for Brian and putting the blame on me.   It is clear  he has had this condition many years before he met me.  

4 REPLIES 4

Re: How to handle when his parents are publically denying he has a problem?

Welcome back @Dewdrop, we're so glad that you checked in. Firstly, are you looking after yourself? In trying to care for someone else, and by extension their family, it can be quite easy to forget about your own health and wellbeing. 

 

Secondly, is there a doctor or someone that Brian trusts that you can reach out to? 

Re: How to handle when his parents are publically denying he has a problem?

Hey Ali11,

 

I'm okay physically,  still have down days.   

 

Brian has a doctor who he sees but unfortunately the doctor is not in the position to help him for his mental health.   As I said in another post I have exhausted all avenues to get him help and each one said they can't do anything unless Brian comes to them for help.   


I just don't understand why his parents are pinning his schizophrenia on me when they know very well he was like this before I met them.   Even during a family meeting with the psychatrist,  the psychatrist explained all of Brian's notes from when Brian was at a mental health hospital.   That Brian's schizophrenia started to come to light during his preteen years.   His mother wouldn't look at me when that was announced because she had been telling anyone who would listen that his behaviour was not like that until I came on to the scene.  Which is not true.

 

It seems like his parents are using me as a  scrapegoat because they don't want to be seen as one of those families who have problems.  

 

Re: How to handle when his parents are publically denying he has a problem?

 It can be frustrating when you are made to feel like the scapegoat @Dewdrop. How was your day today? 

Re: How to handle when his parents are publically denying he has a problem?

Thinking of you @Dewdrop, hope you are ok today. Heart

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