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Senior Contributor

Learning to live (and be myself) again

I've been through some major highs and lows since i recieved my diagnosis. And by highs and lows i mean stages of good and bad health. Stages of working and unemployment. Bouts of depression and anxiety on a daily basis....I've had all sorts of stuff going on basically. 

 

 

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163 REPLIES 163

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

Thanks for sharing your thoughts @eudemonism, it definitely sounds like you've had a lot of ups and downs since your diagnosis. Where are you at right now and how are you feeling?

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

@Ali11 feeling awful like usual... and turning to vices and addictions to cope... I blame the meds they've got me on for feeling awful and likewise i also get angry at them (the professionals) for this...

It becomes a vicious cycle of getting the depot. Feeling awful. And using vices and addictions to cope. A downward spiral indeed to say the least. And yea it's a cycle that builds up momentum and is very draining...

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

@eudemonism It is hard to form meaningful relationships when we get older. I had a bad start, coming from dysfunctional family. Got MI and so much disruptions. Looks like I will age very lonely. Try to be positive, better than age in the street cold and wet, or be married somewhere in the world ,live like a maid.

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

@Meowmyyea relationships are hard work. Once i got booted out of home/left home. I was in the real world then. No loving family to protect and nurture me/wrap me in cotton wool. 

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

Surprising isn't it, @eudemonism and @Meowmy, how in past generations there was a much lower population, bigger distances without modern transport and no easy way to communicate, so it was tougher to meet new people, but it also meant having more of a community around you locally. With our focus on productivity instead of happiness, we've drifted into isolating ourselves and being guarded against trusting others. It reminds me of the John Lennon story about a teacher asking him what he wanted to be when he grew up, and he wrote "happy". The teacher told him that he didn't understand the question, and he replied that the teacher didn't understand life. Not sure how factual that story is, but it's a good story to remind us that we often focus on the things that don't matter and it doesn't always lead us to the things that do Heart

 

Do either of you have a favourite barista or shop staff person locally that you visit and chat to? A while back I would spend every sunday afternoon at a secondhand bookstore talking to the lovely manager there, she was quite advanced in years but sharp as a tack and very witty, she could talk about anything at length. We had some great conversations but never knew each other outside of those visits Smiley Happy

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

@Ali11 Not feeling well, very depressed and low. Life is so hard, just to stay Kindly of normal. I don’t know what to do. Increase my meds. 

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

Oh @Meowmy, sorry to hear that! Do you often feel this way through a change of season? What did you do for yourself today? Sending love Heart  

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

Hi @Meowmy I'm anxious at the momemt. I think it's apart of meds taking maximum effect. I also think that when i exercise the meds are released more quicker. Because I'm absorbing it through my arm muscles/deltoid muscles...

Re: Learning to live (and be myself) again

@Ali11 not feeling the best right now. Having unpleasant thoughts. Feeling afraid/anxious. Trying to use techniques to calm myself down. And find something positive to get on with.

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