Welcome to the forums, although I wish it was under better circumstances.
There seems to be not a lot of awareness out there for men with eating disorders. As @EDV (Eating Disorders Vic) pointed out in this discussion, men make up 25% of people diagnosed with eating disorders, and if your story is anything to go by, it's likely to be more. EDV have a great factsheet you might find interesting.
It must be so hard to watch your husband go through this.
You mentioned he's in denial so it's hard to 'flag anyone down'. May I ask, what assistance have you sought out so far - have you managed to get him to talk to a professional? It might just help others to give more relevant advice if they know what you've already tried.
I'm also sorry to read of his outbursts of emotional abuse and that he has a temper. Your safety is important and regardless of what is going on for him, compromising yours or your family's safety is not okay. Do you have any support around this?
Again, welcome to the forums - I hope you find them helpful.
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