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  • Author : wombats
  • support : 2
  • Topic : Something’s not right
2019-06-14T01:27:59+00:00
wombats
Contributor

Hi Ali11, thanks for your thoughts

 

I have had a (quick) read about premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and that might be part of what is going on.

 

I'm honestly nervous about trying to establish boundaries. My requests are often either ignored or start an argument, so I've been somewhat 'trained' not to voice them.

 

As an example - we were at marriage counselling a few weeks ago and I put in the request that she considers me in her decisions and doesn't disregard my requests. I also said in the session that I would head to the house the next day (Saturday) to see the kids. I am staying about 30 minutes from the house. I sent a text saying I was on my way on Saturday morning as I was leaving. When I was about 10 minutes short of getting there, I recieved a reply that she was going out with the kids and would be back about 10:30 (this was a liitle after 8). I got to the house before she left, and was told they were going to look at puppies (to put in context - we have a dog, who I started looking after when she took the kids interstate over the last school holidays over my birthday and easter, I have kept him with me as his company has been irreplaceable. I have been called all sorts of cruel for doing this).  I said that we have a dog, we don't have the money to buy a puppy and associated costs, and its a puppy - they take a lot of work. Please don't get a puppy. Anyway, the kids wanted to hang out with me, and she went to look at puppies. She returned with a six week old Kelpie (he is a lovely dog, but I'm the only person who has taken him for a walk/to the beach when I have been back at the house. 

 

So, I have absolutely no idea how to try and establish boundaries with someone like this, or the kinds of consequences to put in place for pushing boundaries. If she doesn't like what I say it is either ignored or creates an argument

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