- Author : Sherry
- support : 5
- Topic : Something’s not right
So, an update on what's been happening since my last proper update a little over a week ago. And I thank all of you for your responses over the past week or ten days since that update.
Well there's still no word from the hospital as to hubby's admission under the neurologist's care. They said a bed would not be available until after Easter, but they never said how long after Easter. I phoned them a little while ago to ask if they have any more of an idea as to when it will be, and to remind them that we are not local and therefore a bit of notice to organise to get there and to secure accommodation for me would be nice. Nobody answered, but a recorded message asked me to leave a message, which I did. I suspect I won't get any satisfactory answers, but at least I feel as though I've tried.
I feel like I need to push the envelope a bit as hubby continues to get steadily worse and I'm becoming increasingly worried. A couple of days ago the pains in his head got really bad and he collapsed in a heap sobbing. He told me he was scared. This is really difficult for me to deal with ... seeing a man who has always been so strong, so commanding and in control .. to now be in this state. And it's all happened so quickly, offering no time for adjustment. I feel so useless in knowing there is nothing I can do about it. I have no control and no ability to make things better or treatment to happen sooner ... I just have to sit and wait ... and watch the continuing decline.
On a good note ... hubby got his wish to attend this year's ANZAC day commemorations in our local town. He was in hospital this time last year, so missed ANZAC day for the first time since he served. It was very important for him to get there this year. It was quite a process though, and took some planning to make it all possible. I dropped him and 2 of his military mates off as close as I could to the seating, then left to find a car park. We were nice and early, so managed to get seats in a shaded area, which was lovely because it was fairly hot yesterday.
Hubby can barely walk 30 meters before needing to stop and rest. Thankfully, the public are very helpful kind and considerate when they see war veterans with a chest full of medals clearly unwell and struggling to stand up. Several offered up their seats along the way for him to have a short breather before setting off again. It's really difficult as I know how hard all this is for him ... he is a very proud and somewhat vain man. I looked at him as we made our way through the crowds yesterday, as I held his arm to help support him ... he looks so very ill, weak, pale and fragile. I couldn't help it ... I had tears streaming down my face. Thankfully I had dark sunglasses to hide those tears, and walked slowly along with my head down. I'm so pleased that I managed to convince him to use a walking stick since about 5 weeks ago. He goes nowhere without it now, and it offers him just a little bit of stability and confidence, which is very much needed.
Thankfully once the ANZAC ceremony was over, the rest was relatively easy. Just a matter of me running back to the car and returning to pick up hubby and his three minders as the road blockages were unblocked. I drove them all to the RSL who put on a nice lunch and a few free drinks to members and their wives/carers. So that was nice, and I even had a glass of wine with lunch. At least once I got hubby inside and seated at the table, I could relax for a bit. He could stay seated until we left. It was really good for hubby to be able to mingle with his mates and fellow veterans. It was lovely to see them all make a fuss of him, and of course he loved all the attention. There is a close bond among those who have served together in avenues of war, and you really see it when they can see one of their own clearly so unwell. They were there for him yesterday for whatever it was he needed.
So it was a good day for him. When I got him into bed last night, he said to me 'thanks darlin' for making today happen'. Then he was straight off to sleep. Today he is suffering, with his big day out clearly taking a toll. He has been in bed all day so far, except being up briefly for meds and breakfast and again for meds and lunch.
I hope the neurology dept of the hospital give me a call back soon. I'm becoming impatient, and concerned about having had to wait so long for proper assessment and treatment. If it is encephalitis that he is suffering from, it could be doing permanent damage to his brain, each and every day, while untreated. In some respects it would be much easier if he just got marginally worse, and then I would have no choice other than to rush him off to accident and emergency. Then things would have to be done, and a bed in the city hospital made available. But he just isnt quite there yet ... marginal I'd say.
So the watching, constant assessing .... and waiting ... continues for another frustrating and worrying day.