@CheerBear I’ve often been referred to as a hardened bitch - I refer to myself that way too - a lot. Because I don’t show emotion people think of me as cold.
Because of my CSA I learnt from an early age to hide my feelings, something that came easy as I got older - but it’s all coming back to bite me now. Like others here, I bottle things to the point that the smallest most insignificant thing sets of an eruption. It’s unhealthy, and frustrating and it takes a huge amount of effort to change.
I often feel unworthy, (something that came up in councilling today), so I feel I don’t have the right to look after myself, to put myself first, to be looked after. And in the midst of grief when you need support the most and don’t get it, it just reinforces that feeling of worthlessness.
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