Hi @sas32 sorry it's so tough for you right now. I think @Appleblossom is spot on re getting some medical & psychological support in place. It's important to find people you're comfortable with, which can take time. Good GP is the first step.
I have Bipolar 1. It's bloody hard work. I was misdiagnosed at 15 and struggled on for 30 years before getting the right help. So I'm almost twice your age. After all that time I had trouble coming to terms with the Bipolar 1 label but ultimately it has helped me make sense of my life and get on with it.
Welcome to the forum! It's been wonderful for me to find acceptance and understanding here. Hope it's the same for you. Take care,
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